Have you ever wondered what narcissists hear when you talk to them? It’s like something comes out of your mouth, goes through this filter, and by the time it reaches their ears, it’s like you said something completely different from what you intended. Well, I’ve been there, and I’ve got your back. We’re going to dive into this in this blog post.
So, one thing to keep in mind is that when you’re dealing with a narcissist, innocent words can trigger unexpected reactions. For instance, imagine you want to do something fun with them, like planning a future together based on a self-help book you read. You say, “Hey, I just read this great book, and I thought it would be fun for us to plan our future together.” What do they hear? They hear that you’re making them wrong, criticizing them, and trying to manipulate them. You thought it was a fun idea, but they feel attacked.
Or, let’s say you’re excited because you achieved something cool, and you want to share your success with the narcissist. You say, “I just got recognized for something amazing!” What do they hear? They think you’re competing with them, putting them down, and potentially leaving them behind. They may respond with a superficial “good for you” while feeling threatened inside.
Now, here’s a tricky one: when you express how something they did hurt you, and you want them to acknowledge it. You say, “When you did this, it hurt me, and I need you to acknowledge that.” What do they hear? They interpret it as you making them small, trying to make them wrong, and taking away from their needs. Their fragile ego can’t handle it, so they defend and push back, often resorting to gaslighting.
In essence, when narcissists hear you, it’s like your words pass through a prism. What comes out on the other side is something entirely different. It can be frustrating and confusing to communicate with them.
In conclusion, negotiating with a narcissist can be challenging because what they hear isn’t always what you meant. But remember, you deserve better, and there’s a whole world of resources out there to help you break free and start a new life. Remember, they only win if you give in, and there’s no reason you should. Stay strong, and I’ll see you in the next article.