If you feel like conflict in the world is escalating, it’s not just you. There’s evidence showing that high-conflict personalities are increasing. For example, one study shows that Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) has increased by 30% since the 1970s. This doesn’t just cause dysfunction in personal relationships, it can also affect the workplace. Research shows that US workers lose roughly 2.8 hours per week in dealing with disputes for a total cost to American companies of $359 billion.
(freepik/Freepik)
No matter where you work or how you spend your time, conflict is pretty much guaranteed to be a part of your life, but you can be a part of the solution through a career as a conflict negotiator. With conflict escalating, demand for conflict resolution is rising, too, so it’s a great time to develop this expertise. You can leverage your skillset as a full or part-time conflict negotiator or layer it onto your current skills, making you an even more diverse and valuable employee.
First: What Is a High Conflict Negotiation Coach?
High conflict negotiation coaches are professionals who help arguing parties, like a divorcing couple, reach a solution together. They do a lot more than just sit at a table and help two people reach an agreement, though that’s at the core of what they do.
They are conflict resolution specialists who begin by emphasizing listening to both sides of a conflict so they can fully understand the crux of the issue. They ask about each party’s concerns and needs, read relevant documents, and sometimes speak to other people indirectly involved in the problem so they can get a full picture and understand why the conflict happened in the first place.
Once they have a complete understanding, the high conflict negotiation coaches meet with the parties having a dispute or issue and facilitate solutions to each facet of an issue. They also help each party negotiate the terms of a resolution until everyone is satisfied. Once that’s done, they suggest language for settlement agreements to ensure that the parties’ understandings are fully and accurately reflected in any subsequent legal agreements.
Where Do High Conflict Negotiation Coaches Work?
If you’re interested in becoming a conflict negotiator, you’ll need to learn the different places they work so you can understand which qualifications you’ll need. Professional high conflict negotiation coaches can work in a variety of environments.
Corporate Headquarters
With strict deadlines, different personalities working in close quarters, and many critical professional decisions to be made, the workplace is often fraught with tension. Conflicts can erupt between several different parties:
- Employee vs. employee
- Employee vs. superior
- Vendor vs. company
Law Offices
There’s no place better equipped to handle and resolve differences than a law office. Conflict negotiators are always needed in law offices, particularly ones that practice family law. Many divorcing couples prefer to try taking care of matters in mediation before going to court. Conflict negotiators in a law setting need to be highly knowledgeable about navigating high-conflict situations between two individuals. They also need to be savvy about dealing with difficult personalities, such as narcissists.
Government Agencies
Several government agencies like the National Labor Relations Board, the Environmental Protection Agency, and the Internal Revenue Service keep conflict negotiators on staff (or on contract). In these sectors, they help government employees and citizens avoid the lengthy and expensive litigation process to find a simpler solution.
Hospitals
You’ve probably heard of medical malpractice lawsuits. If you’ve ever seen a medical drama like ER or Grey’s Anatomy, you know that conflicts can arise regarding treatment. Emotions run very high when it comes to a person’s health and well-being. This is especially true when a patient is underage or unable to legally make decisions for themselves. Conflict negotiators in hospitals work to find solutions and settlements between patients or caregivers and their medical teams.
Entrepreneurs
If you are a business owner, you know that high conflict personalities can arise in all facets of the business. From your own employees to vendors to clients, there are times when you can feel surrounded by these challenging personalities. However, your focus is on keeping your business afloat, so you want to keep everyone happy.
A high conflict negotiation coach can assist you, not only with managing these personalities but surviving and thriving so you can become much more profitable and productive.
What Qualifications Do I Need to Become a High Conflict Negotiation Coach?
To achieve certification, which can launch your career in conflict resolution as a master conflict negotiation coach, start with a certification course. Once you complete the training, your career can begin as a side hustle. For example, you can start working just a few hours a week coaching people who are divorcing via Zoom, should you choose that niche.
There are no prerequisites other than a dedication to people and knowing that you have a purpose to help others.
What Skills Do Conflict Negotiators Need?
To be a high conflict negotiation coach, you obviously need to learn conflict resolution skills. Some other skills you’ll need to master include:
- Patience
- Positivity
- Negotiation skills
- Conflict resolution skills
- Confidence to position yourself as an expert and keep the upper hand (even when dealing with difficult people)
- Discernment to recognize manipulation and other stealthy tactics
- Creativity in problem-solving
- Impartiality
- Active listening
- Empathy
- Effective communication
- Attention to detail
You’ll also need to separate your professional life from your personal life. Dealing in conflict resolution can weigh on you, especially in high conflict situations like divorce. You’ll want to learn how to view your work objectively and not internalize it or bring it home with you.
Why Choose a Career in High Conflict Negotiation?
Conflict and gridlock are draining, especially for people caught in toxic personal or work relationships. Their lives can quickly careen into drama and trauma.
You can make the difference in their lives, helping them prevent potentially catastrophic emotional, psychological, and economic damages. You can help them regain their dignity, negotiate with a level head, and get what they want and need from the situation. There are few things more rewarding than helping people take back their power and live their best lives.
In addition to helping you on the job, conflict resolution skills will help you live your own best life. Life is all about interacting with people with different priorities, goals, and desires. When you learn to negotiate effectively, you can become a better spouse, parent, child, sibling, co-worker, leader, and manager.
Many negotiation certification programs are available online. Look for a program that helps you master conflict negotiation and launch a business or side hustle so you can start offering your skills to the individuals and organizations that need them most.