Exposed Secrets to Documenting Narcissistic Behavior for Court
Video Transcript:
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expose secrets to documenting narcissist
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Behavior to the court hey everyone are
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you dealing with a narcissist and you’re
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getting ready to go to court with one
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and you’re feeling like oh my God what
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do I have to do to make sure that they
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get exposed so that the court sees me
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hears me I feel like I’m going to lose
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to this freaking narcissist and I want
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the judge to hear it I got you covered
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make sure you watch this video make sure
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you watch it all the way to the end I
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got
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it hey there I’m Rebecca Zang I’m a
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trial lawyer I’ve been a lawyer for
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probably longer than I want to admit
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here but I’m also recognized by US News
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as one of the best lawyers in America
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I’m also the bestselling author of slay
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the bully how to negotiate with a
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narcissist and win and if you’re new
0:59
here welcome and make sure that you
1:01
subscribe hit that notification Bell
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because I don’t want you to miss one
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single one of these videos to help you
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slay that bully and become empowered and
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the best version of yourself and get
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free all right so today we’re diving
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into a critical topic exposed secrets of
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documenting narcissist behavior for the
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court and if you’re dealing with a
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narcissist in a legal setting I’m so
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sorry but I want to help you win all
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right so whether it’s it’s a divorce
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custody battle high conflict situation
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maybe it’s a business partner maybe it’s
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a probate situation defamation who knows
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but having solid documentation is your
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key to success all right I’m going to
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walk you through practical strategies
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provide examples and I’m going to share
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my top tips to ensure that you are
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prepared and make sure that by the way
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that you grab my free Crush my
1:53
negotiation prep Playbook to help you
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also get started and you can get that at
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win myynti
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as well all right so the first thing is
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you really need to understand the
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importance of documentation so it’s
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really really important because having
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concrete evidence is key key key key key
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narcissist are master manipulators and
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they can be very very convincing in
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court you got to deal with judges where
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they’re coming from okay judges have way
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too many cases on their docket every who
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comes through is calling the other
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person a narcissist they got the big eye
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roll going on you got to like meet them
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where they’re at and all they care about
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is applying the law so you’ve got to
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have concrete documentation you can’t go
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in there tell talking about how the
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other person is a narcissist because
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they’re not going to want to hear about
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that they want to see your documentation
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they want to see facts they want to see
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evidence and you want to apply it
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according to the laws of of wherever it
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is that you live so it’s not just about
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what you say it’s about what you can
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prove with your facts all right so let’s
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say you’re dealing with manipulative
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Behavior All right so let’s say you’re
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dealing with a custody battle The
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Narcissist might try to portray
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themselves as the perfect parent oh you
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know like they want this Halo to be
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glowing from on top of their head and
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they want to say that you’re the the
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deadbeat person or the horrible person
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whatever but they want to say that
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they’re always putting their children’s
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needs first but you know the reality is
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very very different so they cancel
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visitation at the last minute all the
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time they make disparaging comments
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about you in front of the kids they use
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every single opportunity that they can
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to undermine your Authority documenting
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each instance with dates times detailed
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descriptions every time they cancel a
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visit via text save that text every time
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they something disparaging so write down
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the the date the time the cancellation
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the reasons given the impact it had on
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you your children it creates a timeline
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it demonstrates the true Behavior over
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time what’s even better as if you have
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it in some kind of email form or an app
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form something like that so you can put
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the supporting documentation right there
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and then you have a summary of it all
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right there which is even better how
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many times did they cancel in a 4-month
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period 98 custody exchanges they
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canceled 47 times whatever it is what’s
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the percentage of how many times do they
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have they had an opportunity to have
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them x amount of times and then how many
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times did they cancel on that so what
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can you document here are a few key
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things instances of manipulative
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Behavior this is including gaslighting
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you know times that they made you
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question your reality or attempts to
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control you or attempts to isolate you
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then you can actually have samples of
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that summaries of that threats and
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intimidation is number two uh whether
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verbal or written any threats that they
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make including recordings of that are
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great
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inconsistencies lies in their statements
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they often contradict themselves all
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right keep track of those contradictions
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very powerful they said this on August
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7th they said this on December 12th then
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you can match up those statements
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together in a summary very helpful
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emails and text messages save all
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Communications in valuable and showing
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patterns of behavior let’s say the
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nurses has send you a a threatening
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message like I’m going to ruin your
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career I’m going to drive up the fees
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I’m going to make sure that you don’t
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get this settlement I’m going to take
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the business away from you whatever it
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is that they’re saying save this email
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print it out you save it electronically
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you save it in different places because
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it may be that there’s a custody statute
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that it applies to it may be that it
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applies to a partnership agreement or
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whatever it is whatever type of case it
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is that you’re dealing with Note the
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date note the time that it was received
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any subsequent actions that they took
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related to that threat if they follow
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through with the threats document those
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actions as well and then link it back to
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the original threat any inconsistencies
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in their statements narcissist often
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make conflicting statements to different
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people so for example they might tell
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the court they’re always available to
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pick the kids up from school but you
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have emails from them saying they can’t
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make it because of work commitments keep
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a record of those conflicting statements
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highlight the discrepancies show how
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their narrative changes based on what
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suits them at the moment this can
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undermine their
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credibility in court the next thing is
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how do you document effectively you can
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use a journal you can use a log app in
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your phone whatever is most convenient
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for you so that you’re going to just do
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it and trying to do it in real time
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because if you try to go back and
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recreate you’re never going to do it all
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right make sure that you are recording
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the incidents as they are happening as I
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said before dates times detailed
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descriptions recording conversations if
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it’s legal make sure you’re doing that
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too sometimes you you can’t record the
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conversations you can’t play the
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conversations but if you can then do
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that as well sometimes you you can’t
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play it in court but you could play it
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for maybe a custody evaluator or you can
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you know play it for a mediator or
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somebody else in the situation witness
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statements if you have other people who
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have witnessed the person’s Behavior ask
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them to write down what they have seen
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either they can testify to it later or
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maybe they can prepare some kind of
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affidavit depending on if they’re
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available when it comes time for
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proceeding or they’re not available or
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or how far away they live or whatever it
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is but you know start to gather that
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information at the time that their
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memory is still fresh okay next thing is
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journal entries let’s suppose that the
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person that you’re dealing with your
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personal narcissist has a pattern of
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yelling or making threats or doing
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something let’s say during a drop off a
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custody exchange or maybe it’s your boss
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and they’re yelling at you or whatever
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it is every time this happen happens
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immediately write it down and then
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include the date and time and what was
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said and how it affected you or how it
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affected your kids and then over time
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these entries will show a clear pattern
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of abusive Behavior so for example on
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you know June 1st 2024 at 3M during a
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drop off at the school blah blah blah
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name yelled at me in front of our child
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saying I was an unfit parent and yelled
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and said threatened to take custody and
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this level of detail is going to be
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really really crucial for painting a
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clear picture for the court and
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especially if you’re writing it in real
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time it’s really helpful the next thing
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is recording conversations now sometimes
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you won’t be able to play it for the
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court sometimes you can play it for
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custody evaluators other people involved
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with the situation or you can play it
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you know if it’s not a family law matter
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let’s say it’s a
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situation with a boss or whatever there
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may be other people within the ISS the
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situation that you’re in that you might
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be able to play it for next thing is
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witness statements witnesses can
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definitely provide backup verification
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of what it is that you’ve been dealing
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with especially if a person might have
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heard yelling they might have you know
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seen situations friend who’s been
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involved maybe you know piano teachers
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are sometimes good coaches especially
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they they’re like oh on multiple
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occasions I’ve seen fighting I’ve seen
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obscenities being hurled it’s always
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good to have that kind of account from
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other people especially if they are you
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know people who are of sound mind people
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who are good Witnesses who are unbiased
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if this is helpful so far give me a yes
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in the comments give me a yes in the
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comments and if you you are dealing with
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this and you’re documenting n
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narcissistic behavior for court share
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your comments in the comments below your
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stories help others in similar
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situations and if you are needing
11:13
additional support make sure you join my
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free private Facebook group narcissist
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negotiators with Rebecca zung the next
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thing is organizing your documentation
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for court so once you’ve gathered your
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documentation organizing it is super
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crucial here are some ways that you can
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do that first you want to create a
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timeline so you want to chronologically
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arrange your documentation in a way that
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shows a clear pattern of behavior you
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want to label it and index it in a way
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that’s easy to reference and you want to
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prepare a summary so a summary that
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highlights the most critical points of
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the documentation and this it can help
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your attorney present the case really
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effectively too let’s take the timeline
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line piece first so once you um have
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everything and you can lay it out in
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chronological order it helps you and
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your attorney see the progression and
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patterns of the behavior so for example
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if you create a spreadsheet with columns
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for date time type of behavior and the
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notes this visual representation can be
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extremely persuasive in court
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demonstrated a con consistent pattern of
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manipulation or abuse the next thing is
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labeling and indexing so label each
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piece of evidence clearly and sometimes
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you can do it like in terms of this the
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local Statute in your area let’s say
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it’s like the best interest of the child
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statute you can organize it by the
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element of the statute or each section
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of the statute but labeling each piece
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of evidence clearly using labels like
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email one text message two journal entry
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3 creating an index that lists each item
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and provides a brief description that
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makes it so easy for your attorney and
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Court to navigate the documentation I
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help you do this so much in my slle
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program which can check out at
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slaynation tocom and this is so helpful
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threatening email from blah blah blah on
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June 1st 2024 at 3M right so preparing a
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summary is really really really critical
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so that once you have all of your
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documentation in a clear and concise
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manner it helps you save so much money
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and it helps the judge see it all so
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clearly because now it tells the story
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over the past six months n narcissist
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over here has repeatedly cancelled
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visitation at the last minute has made
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disparaging comments in front of my
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children here’s the attached evidence
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and it’s all laid out and you’ve got
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this summary and it helps your attorney
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quickly reference the most critical
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points so remember documenting
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narcissistic behavior can be the key to
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winning your face that is how you
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present the truth that is how you
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protect your loved ones that is how you
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protect yourself that is how you get
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free that is how you get your life back
14:31
so if you found this video helpful give
14:33
it a thumbs up share it with others who
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might benefit and make sure you
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subscribe to this Channel and hit that
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notification Bell before you go make
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sure to remember that today is a great
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day to start negotiating your best life
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you’ve got this you’ve got the power to
14:51
reclaim your life you’ve got the power
14:54
to thrive the only win if you give in
14:58
and you don’t don’t need to do that and
15:00
the next video that I want you to watch
15:01
is top trial attorney reveals the only
15:05
way to expose a narcissist in court all
15:08
right so that’s the next video I want
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