Narcissists constantly do things to make you fear them. But what’s one thing you can do to make them fear you? I’m going to tell you in this blog.
Hey, I’m Rebecca Zung, a globally recognized narcissist and high-conflict communications expert, attorney, and best-selling author of Slay the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win. If you’re new to this channel, welcome! I’m so glad you’re here. Go ahead and hit that follow/subscribe button and turn on your notifications so you never miss any of my powerful content. All of it is designed to help you take back your power and your life from narcissists and high-conflict people. If you’re already part of this community, I’m so glad you’re here!
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Now, let’s dive into what we’re talking about today—what’s the one thing you can do to make a narcissist fear you? First, we need to understand what drives a narcissist. Narcissists thrive on narcissistic supply; they feel completely empty inside. I often say they’re like a hollow chocolate Easter bunny—they look nice on the outside but are empty on the inside. They need endless supply, which depletes you. To them, you’re just another source, and they’ll take it from anywhere.
In the hierarchy of supply, there are different levels. The best form of supply, which I call “Diamond Level Supply,” is their image and reputation—how they appear to the world. They will protect and defend this at any cost. Then, there’s the lower-tier supply, which includes manipulation, smearing, and control. When it comes to negotiations or communications, they want it all. So, how do you get a narcissist to fear you? You have to threaten a source of supply that is most important to them—their image. You need to figure out what that is for them, and this will inform your strategy.
What could threaten their image? It could be their new girlfriend, a judge, their employees, their employer, or even their celebrity fans. You have to figure out what matters most to them so you can create something that threatens their image. But here’s the key—don’t actually expose them. The power is in the threat of exposure, not the act itself. You must slowly disengage and show them that you no longer fear them. You’re no longer under their spell or control, and now you hold the cards.
The moment they realize they’ve lost control over you, that’s when they start to fear you. Narcissists derive their power from the control they have over others. When they lose that control, they lose their power. You must become completely disengaged from their manipulations, their baits, and their triggers. They won’t know what to do because their power lies in controlling your emotions. Once they lose that, their grip over you is gone.
If you’re ready to take back your power, join my free private Facebook group, Narcissist Negotiators, and grab my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Playbook to get started. Whether you’re dealing with a narcissist in a personal relationship, as a boss, or even a close friend, you don’t need to defend yourself. Never “JADE”—that means never justify, argue, defend, or explain. Don’t set the record straight or feed into their drama. Walk away. Create strategy and leverage, and maintain control.
The harder a narcissist tries to get a reaction from you, the more they will self-destruct. Disengaging, walking away, and protecting your peace is where your real power lies. You’ll have an invisible shield around you, and they’ll no longer be able to manipulate or control you. They’ll have to direct their toxic energy elsewhere because you’re no longer feeding their ego.
Remember, this strategy works in professional and personal situations. Whether you’re dealing with a boss, colleague, or anyone else, maintaining a calm, composed demeanor will protect your peace and power. They won’t be able to get at you, and you’ll be unshakable and unstoppable.
I know co-parenting with a narcissist is no fun, but try to minimize exchanges through apps or use a parenting coordinator if needed. Keep responses neutral and factual. Don’t get drawn into the drama. By depriving them of the reaction they crave, you protect yourself and your peace. You become like Wonder Woman with bullets bouncing off her wrist—you’re untouchable.
If you found this helpful, make sure to like, share, and subscribe to my blog. You have the power to reclaim your life from a narcissist. Stay strong, stay smart, and start negotiating your best life today.
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And I will see you in that next article.