The area of custody and parenting plans is one of the most hotly contested in divorce. We all love our children so this is without a doubt a super emotional part of the whole process.
I recently just read an article where Sean Penn was quoted as saying that he and Robin Wright still have difficulty communicating with each other about their kids. And they’ve been divorced for several years and their children are in their 20s. So sometimes time doesn’t help the situation and neither does the kids getting older.
The problem is that you and your spouse know how to push each other’s buttons and everything each of you does can get under the other person’s skin. And often you don’t agree on parenting styles or choices – these can be tough things to work through even if you’re still married but once you aren’t married anymore, you really don’t have control over what the other parent is doing in his or her home.
So the first thing to do in this situation is to be sure you have a very specific parenting plan – that addresses as much as possible down to the minutia. The less that is left to gray area the better. Less to fight about.
Another suggestion is to figure out a way to communicate in a rational and productive way. Sometimes, just using an app like Our Family Wizard can help. There, you and your ex will doing all of your communicating and anyone who has the access to your conversations can monitor them. This includes judges, lawyers, parenting evaluators etc.
If you really still can’t communicate then perhaps getting a parenting coordinator or mediator involved can help.
The faster you can figure out a way to communicate effectively, the better your quality of life will be and most importantly, the healthier it will be for your kids.
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