Sweaty palms. Heart racing. Fear. Can’t breathe. Is it a horror film? Close. A divorce negotiation. A huge element of divorce is negotiation. Negotiation in general is a very highly honed and learned skill, and divorce negotiation is often the highest stakes form of persuasion we can encounter and the most uncomfortable. I’ve often said there is a divorce paradox and that is that during the worst, most traumatic time of your life, you have to make the most critical decisions of your life about the things that mean the most to you; your children, your money, your business, or your home.
I used to be a make wrong queen. If I wanted to move on in a job or a relationship, I started the process of looking for all sorts of evidence to prove how wrong the boss was or the guy was. And just like when you buy a new car, you start noticing all those same cars on the road, when you are looking for evidence in reality to prove that the other person is wrong, you will find it.
Almost worse than the divorce itself, paralysis – or an inability to make decisions or move forward – can sometimes be an even more difficult private hell…
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