By Rebecca Zung, Esq.
Is a narcissist torturing you and you’re sitting over there trying to figure out how can I make their life just as miserable as they are making mine or maybe even worse I’m going to give you five ways to torture a narcissist. Now I have to give you a little bit of a caveat here because I don’t want to put you in any sort of danger and I don’t want you to put yourself in any sort of danger here. So what I’m going to walk through here is stuff that’s going to really drive them crazy, it’s stuff that’s going to make them collapse, go nuts, and really put you in a position of power. And that’s really what it’s all about, right? Giving you that sense of authentic power, putting you in a place where you can shift that dynamic, turn it all around so that you’re on the offensive for a change instead of constantly being on the defensive. And that’s what I want you to learn how to do because they’ve been conditioning you from the beginning, whether it’s a family relationship, whether it’s a personal relationship, a professional relationship, whatever it is, you’re constantly being conditioned.
In a lot of ways, it’s almost like a frog with that slow boil. Do you ever hear that analogy of the Frog who’s sitting in that pot of cold water and they don’t even realize that the heat’s being turned up so they don’t ever jump out because they’re still in it? Or the analogy of Death By A Thousand Cuts? Like these little tiny paper cuts and all of a sudden you just have so many you don’t even realize it, sort of like that. You’re over there kind of realizing, “Oh my gosh, how did I get into this thing? How do I get out of it?” What I want you to do is turn it around in baby steps and you’re going to figure out how to torture that narcissist in a way that they’re going to go, “How did this happen to me?”
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The first thing that you want to make sure that you do is not take that bait. You don’t want to have that emotional manipulation going on constantly because if you do what happens is they go fishing and that gives them the supply source that they want. So the first thing you got to do is cut off that supply source. So I always say step one, don’t run; step two, make a U-turn; step three, break free. So the first thing that you can do is put that emotional shield down around you, that invisible shield. You can start to look at them as if are a third party having a tantrum on the floor and just look at them and start to say things almost like as if you are observing them, “I can see that you are upset. I can see that you are angry. Demand respect for yourself, this approach is not working for me, thank you for the feedback.” Start to hold it all at bay because you’re no longer emotionally triggered by the process anymore. So you’re not going to take the bait, they go fishing and then they reel you in and then once you’re in you’re stuck, you’re down in that mud with them and now they’ve triggered you and they know exactly how to trigger you, they go for those weak spots and then they have you, you’re in and as long as they’re getting that narcissistic supply, that hook up, then they will never leave you alone. And so if you want to start to torture that narcissist, that very first way to torture a narcissist is to put on that shield and not take the bait, that’s number one.
Number two is shut down the gaslighting. How do you shut down gaslighting? You go, “That’s not how that happened. That’s not how I remember it, we didn’t have that conversation, that’s not a funny joke,” the things that they do that are gaslighting. So what is gaslighting? Gaslighting is things that they do, things that they say to try to make you think that you’re crazy, “Oh, we didn’t have that conversation,” or “We had that conversation, don’t you remember?” or “You’re misremembering the facts,” or whatever they try to destabilize you or make you think that you’re crazy by literally changing the facts. Why do they do that? Well, to destabilize you and also because they’re trying to get out of responsibilities or they’re trying to just lie about things because they are being accused of things that they did do, they didn’t do and they’re trying to get out of it, or they just think it’s funny to make fun of you and get supply from that. I mean, there’s a whole host of reasons why they gaslight but regardless you don’t want to be their supply source so you have to shut that down, you can also document things and keep track and that also shuts down the gaslighting, so that’s number two.
I teach you how to do that in my programs and the things that I do but that also helps you. Okay, the next thing is gray rocking. Gray rocking, short responses, no, yes, uh-huh, you know what gray rocking is, it’s just sort of like you become a gray rock, very boring, just, hmm, yeah, you’re not emotional, you’re not, you’re just so boring, you don’t even have expression on your face, just very brief short unemotional, just pretend like you’re reporting the news, oh I see, I always tell people never JADE, never justify, argue, defend, or explain. I would say I love JADE because you know I’m half Chinese and all of that but don’t justify, argue, defend, or explain, never in the history of any narcissist ever has one gone, oh you know what I see your point, I get it now, oh you know you’ve really convinced me, like they’re never going to come over to your side there so no response, short responses, gray rock, got it so far, if you got it so far put got it in the comments below, got it, got it. So these are ways we’re torturing narcissist here and if you are needing extra support join my free private Facebook group narcissist negotiators with Rebecca Zung that will help you tremendously and you’ll get extra support there.
Fourthly is exposing them, that’s how you build your leverage is starting to expose them, you have to threaten a source of supply that’s more important for them to keep, protect, to defend, all of that, that diamond level supply is what I teach you how to do in my high conflict negotiation certification programs or my slay programs how to threaten that source of supply they want to keep that’s more important and then they’ll let go of that source of supply that coal level supply that’s manipulating you jerking you around talking about you behind your back all of that stuff, the flying monkeys they will let go of all of that if you sort of threaten a source of supply.
Alright, so far we’ve gone through 1-4, first is don’t take the bait, second shut down the gaslighting, third is gray rock short responses and fourth is potentially expose them and we’ve got one more number five, the last but not the least. Number five is move on and forget about them, I recognize that is way easier said than done but if you can do all the other things that I am teaching you how to do then you can get to a point of being able to do number. So that’s it, that’s five ways to torture that narcissist if you got it put got it in the comments below if you know somebody who needs this information please make sure to like this article and make sure to like it, share it!
Remember that today is a great day to start negotiating your best life remember they only win if you give in but there is no need to do that because what we are doing here what we are teaching here is revolutionary and you can win you 100%. I can help you, we can help you, we can support you so I will see you in that next article and you got this. Together, we can transform our lives and thrive.
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