Have you ever wondered what a narcissist is up to when they’re alone? If you think they’re engaging in sweet or innocent activities, think again. When left unchecked, narcissists often engage in behavior that serves their manipulative tendencies. As they say, what happens in darkness will eventually come to light—usually when they’re exposed under pressure. Let’s dive into some unsettling truths about what narcissists may be doing when you’re not around.
They Engage in Cheating or Securing Backup Supply
When a narcissist thinks no one is watching, they often seek ways to inflate their ego. This could mean cheating, either physically or emotionally. They may troll dating apps, reach out to exes, or consume pornography—anything that gives them the validation they crave. Even if they aren’t cheating, they might engage in behavior that plants seeds of doubt, creating jealousy and confusion in their relationships. If you’ve noticed them suddenly working out, getting cosmetic procedures, or dressing better, they could be preparing for future “supply,” ensuring they’ll never be alone.
Spyware, Hacking, and Stalking Behavior
Narcissists love control, and one way they maintain it is by tracking your movements and accessing your devices. They may install spyware on your phone, put a GPS tracker on your car, or hack into your accounts. To stay protected, it’s crucial to change your passwords regularly, monitor suspicious activity on your devices, and use strong antivirus software. If you notice your phone battery draining unusually fast, it could indicate spyware. Professional car inspections can also help detect hidden tracking devices.
Smear Campaigns and Flying Monkeys
Narcissists often stay a step ahead by launching smear campaigns well in advance of any conflict. These campaigns are subtle at first, with them feigning concern about your well-being to plant doubt in others’ minds. Over time, these whispers evolve into full-blown character assassinations. If you start noticing strange rumors or a shift in how people treat you, it may be part of the narcissist’s smear campaign. The best way to handle it is to stay calm, document everything, and avoid engaging. Maintaining your integrity will protect you from their manipulative tactics.
Hacking Your Life
Another tactic narcissists employ is hacking into your personal life—whether that’s your phone, social media accounts, or email. They might delete messages, read your conversations, or even initiate password resets to monitor you. If you suspect hacking, change your passwords immediately and enable multi-factor authentication (MFA) to secure your accounts.
Going Through Your Belongings
When alone, narcissists are known to snoop through your personal items, looking for anything they can use against you. They may search for evidence of your activities or use what they find to fuel their manipulative behavior. If you’ve experienced this, know that you’re not alone. Documenting these invasions of privacy is essential if you need to confront them later.
Share Your Experience and Protect Yourself
If any of these behaviors sound familiar, you’re not alone. Many people have dealt with similar experiences. How did you handle them? Share your stories in the comments to help others going through similar situations—it can make a huge difference.
For more strategies on dealing with narcissists, check out my free Crush My Negotiation Prep Playbook at winmynegotiation.com. If you found this blog helpful, please share it and spread the word!
Next Steps
Want to dive deeper into strategies for handling narcissists? Watch my next blog on how to shut down a narcissist’s smear campaign. Knowing how to stay calm and avoid being dragged into their games will help you maintain your peace. Remember, you were born for greatness—stay grounded and rise above their manipulation.
Don’t let fear or emotional manipulation dictate your future. Take back your power and start negotiating your best life today.
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