Are you aware of the tactics that narcissists use to manipulate, control, and dominate you? I want you to know what you’re dealing with. Knowledge is power. This is the first step. Getting some space between you and the narcissist and putting up boundaries is what you need. So, today I’m going to share these four tactics narcissists use over you.
Number one on this list: They turn into Drama Kings or Queens. When you try to have a conversation with them about things that might have been bothering you, they will use these emotional appeals as a disguise to throw you off. “You can’t be serious about this!” “How dare you?!” They will use these over-the-top responses to turn things around you to make them appear to be the victim and you as the aggressor.
Narcissists never really use logic the same way regular people do. Growing up, these narcissists were subjected to trauma that triggered a flight or fight mode, which in turn flooded their brains with cortisol, epinephrine, adrenaline, etc. When someone is subjected to this long term, it causes serious damage and causes a weird type of brain development, which in turn affects their behavior and worldview. As they get older, when they feel like they’re being attacked, that triggers a Narcissistic Injury which results in Narcissistic Rage where they lash out. They can be triggered by how someone looked at them or a tone they heard that they don’t like. It can be the slightest thing or even an innocent situation that they perceive maliciously. They just don’t process things the way we do.
The second thing on this list is Everybody/Nobody. They see things in black and white. They don’t see a spectrum of colors, only absolutes. It’s either you are against them or for them. This is quite evident during the discard phase where they act paranoid thinking that everyone is out to get them. They have this delusion that no one is on their side and suspect everyone of conniving against them. Because this is how they feel, they will project that onto you and use this vicious strategy where they will isolate you and try to get as many people on their side (AKA flying monkeys) while you’re left on your own. Although you really are not on your own, they will go out of their way to make it appear as such while they act like they have the whole world behind them.
Third is: Judge and Jury. What narcissists will do is they will try to document and record everything. They will record or video you under the pretense that they don’t trust you. They have this mindset that they’re right unless you can prove them wrong. Don’t get me wrong, this goes both ways, but what makes them different is that they are constantly attacking and abusing you and questioning your trustworthiness and credibility on all matters.
The last tactic on this list is: Labeling. They love to judge everybody. It can be the person on TV or someone in a magazine, someone walking down the street, or just your neighbor. But everybody but them is just terrible on a myriad of things and coincidentally these narcissists are just better compared to all these people. Narcissists do this not because they hate people around them, they do this because they have something that they don’t have. They’re hating on themselves and are obsessed with tearing other people down to lift themselves. They invalidate other people to make themselves feel better. This is a common trait of narcissists. They judge people like it’s a passion of theirs.
So those are the four tactics they use. Educating yourself is the first step. And remember, today is a great day to start negotiating your best life. You can do this. They only win if you give in and there’s no reason to do that because life has so much to offer you. I’ll see you in the next article.