4 Assumptions Narcissists Have About You
By Rebecca Zung, Esq.
Do you want to know the top four assumptions narcissists have made about you? Do you really know how these narcissists think about you? Whether you’re in a business or a personal relationship with narcissists, they’re conditioning you from the beginning of the relationship. Because of this, throughout the entirety of the relationship, they make assumption about that you aren’t even aware of. Here are just a few of them.
Number 1: Narcissists assume that you’re naive and that you will believe all of their lies. Narcissists believe that you are going to go along with everything. This is because right from the start, they’ve love bombed and charmed you. Do you remember when they first came along? They were the most charming, charismatic, and personable people on the planet. They were quite good at getting you to believe that in order to suck you into their web.
Recently, I heard this story about a friend who had charmed his way into this family. Within a matter of just a few months, he not only had charmed his way into a relationship with the daughter but also her parents. He got her parents to pay for his education and his apartment! The father was a well-known author and speaker who speaks all over the country, had him travel with him during speaking engagements. The girlfriend’s mother even paid for lavish vacations for him! This guy was so charismatic that he had this highly reputable family eating from the palm of his hands in just a few months! Then just months later, it all unraveled and he discarded the daughter for a better source of supply. Then he was gone with the wind. Poof!
In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, The Outliers, he proffered that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to achieve mastery in any skill. He cited how the Beatles went to Germany and spent three or four years in underground clubs polishing their craft and he also referred to how Bill Gates practiced his computer skills and learned coding in a lab when he was in high school. These are nothing compared to what narcissists have been doing their entire lives! Since childhood, narcissists have been sharpening their skills in reading and manipulating people. That’s how they’ve mastered it. That’s why I always tell people not to be so hard on themselves when they’ve fallen for this trick.
What’s an assumption that narcissists have about you? That you’re naïve and will buy into all of their lies. Why wouldn’t they? They’re expert manipulators and charmers.
Number 2: Narcissists see your empathy, kindness, and good-heartedness and assume that these traits as weaknesses. They see someone with these traits as someone who doesn’t know how to survive in their view of the world and is blind to its inner workings. Narcissists will use your empathy, kindness, and good-heartedness against you and will take advantage of you to the fullest extent. You will feel used and abused, taken advantage of, and drained.
Number 3: Narcissists assume that everybody, including you, is just as manipulative as they are. They assume that everybody is operating in survival mode and that everything’s transactional. They assume that everything you say and do has an agenda and that nobody does anything altruistic in this dog-eat-dog worldview of theirs. You must understand that’s where they’re coming from and that’s how they operate. When it happens, you’ll have a better grasp of the situation especially when you’re going to negotiate with them. It’s quite important to understand their psyche when you are negotiating, managing, dealing, and communicating with narcissists. These are vital skills.
Number 4: Narcissists assume that you will never leave. This is the paradox. How is that that can they treat people so horribly and yet think that you would not want to get out of there? But they don’t see it. Narcissists believe that they’ve conditioned you to the point that you will continue to tolerate them despite their abuse and manipulation. They assume that you will never leave. They assume that you’re going to continue to hang in there.
This however, is where you can use this to your advantage. Let them believe that. This is where you can begin to create leverage. This is where you can spring it on them without them realizing what has happened. That’s when they’ll realize that there’s a new game in town. But you have to do that within the context of a strategy. That’s all part of my SLAY methodology. Strategy, Leverage, Anticipate (what they will do and be two steps ahead of them) and You (focus on you being on the offensive instead of the defensive). Remember, they only win when you give in. Today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
For a Free live masterclass on the 3 MUST HAVE Secrets to Communicating with A Narcissist, join me right here: http://icanslay.com/